


Chocolate After Midnight

by Sunspot



Series: Howling Uncles [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Howling Commandos (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 09:38:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2343779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunspot/pseuds/Sunspot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Steve are together at last, them and all their baggage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocolate After Midnight

_He thought he recognised the man in the car, but that wasn’t possible - he was just a target. Him and the woman, just a car to be driven off the road. But the face in the photograph, the shock in the man’s eyes as he swerved the car on the dark road, were unsettlingly familiar. The woman’s scream and the car hurtling off the edge, that he understood. But the man’s face... he shouldn’t have mentioned it, should have kept his idiot mouth shut. His handlers had gone hard, ordered him back to the chair, not the chair, not the chair, not the..._

The screaming snapped Sammy from her late night engineering marathon. She shot out of her lab just fast enough to see that Steve had beaten her across the hall and was already inside.

‘Buck! Bucky, you gotta wake up, it’s just a ...’

Steve never got to finish: at that point Bucky woke up just enough to slam his metal arm into Steve’s chest. Steve crashed into the wall, immediately followed by a half conscious and furious Bucky. Sammy looked around for anything she could use to separate the two of them while Steve tried to pry Bucky’s fingers from around his neck.

Unfortunately, the strongest thing in the room was currently attached to Sammy.

Turns out even post-brainwashed superspies in the middle of traumatic flashback nightmares will pay attention when hit across the back of the head with a titanium leg.

Caught up in the pain and fear in Bucky’s eyes, Steve couldn’t even get enough air to try and talk him down. He was so focussed on Bucky he didn’t even notice Sammy moving up behind them – until the leg connected and Bucky snapped back to reality, his face twisting in horror.

 ‘No. No no no.’ Bucky muttered, releasing Steve and backing away, knocking Sammy onto the bed in the process. He stood frozen in horror while Steve gasped for air and Sammy righted herself. Before either of them could stop him he bolted. He had to go, he couldn’t be here, he’d only hurt them if he stayed. He wasn’t any good for anything else.

‘Bucky, please.’

Bucky was halfway out the window when he heard Steve’s voice, rough from being choked.

‘Please...’ Steve gasped, ‘don’t go. Not again.’

‘I can’t stay, I’ll only hurt you.’ Said Bucky, still frozen in place.

‘I’m a super soldier, you jerk... I can take it.’

Bucky pulled his chin into his chest, never taking his eyes off Steve, yet never actually meeting his gaze.

‘You’ve got a habit of biting off more than you can chew.’

‘You’ve got a habit of helping me with that.’ Taking slow steps towards Bucky, afraid to move too fast, terrified of driving him away.

Bucky sighed. ‘Punk,’ he muttered, stepping back inside and moving toward Steve at last.

Steve gasped again as Bucky slammed into his chest and wrapped his arms around reflexively around his friend. Bucky squeezed right back and Steve finally relaxed. Bucky had been keeping his distance since they had found each other, but this finally felt like coming home. Until Bucky started to squeeze a little harder, which with his new arm was definitely a problem.

‘Easy, Buck!’

‘Thought you said you could take it, Captain.’

‘Oh really, Sergeant.’ Steve replied with a grunt as he twisted and tried to throw Bucky, who predicted the move and took Steve down with him.

 

Turned out that hitting a cyborg with your prosthetic leg greatly reduced its effectiveness. By the time Sammy discovered the bent parts, hopped back into her bedroom, and found a spare leg, Bucky and Steve had started wrestling on her living room floor.

‘Surrender!’

‘Never!’

Sammy rolled her eyes. ‘Uncles,’ she huffed, and headed into the kitchen. It was 4am and now that she wasn’t focussed on the mechanics of a knee she needed hot chocolate and about a week’s sleep. Someone crashed into the floor behind her, not much chance of the second. A pair of uncles thumping around the living room made sure of that. So: hot chocolate time.

‘Sammy, where’s your other leg?’ asked Bucky when he managed to stand for a moment.

‘I bent it on your thick skull, Uncle mine.’

Unfortunately for Bucky, this distracted him just long enough for Steve to get the upper hand and pin Bucky to the floor.

‘Fine!’ Called Bucky, tapping out.

Steve bounced up onto the balls of his toes, and offered Bucky a hand.

‘Uncle Bucky, this place may be soundproofed but let’s not push the strength of the walls. Please don’t throw Uncle Steve into anything else.’

Bucky grinned and grabbed Steve’s hand, pulling himself up into another hug.

Sammy thumped mugs of hot chocolate down on the table and then sat with her own.

‘Thanks Sammy,’ said Bucky with a grin, padding over to the table.

‘Nasty nightmare?’

Bucky shrugged, ‘I’ve had worse,’ he said, sitting down and sliding Steve his mug.

‘Don’t doubt it, Uncle. When you’re ready you should consider talking to someone about that.’

‘I’m talking to you, aren’t I?’

‘Well there are a couple Howling Kids with actual training, if you feel like getting more help.’

‘Sam was talking about that, apparently head shrinking is much more common these days. He’s been trying to get me to talk to someone.’ Said Steve over his mug.

‘Good luck to them, doubt they could even get through that fat head.’

Steve chuckled. ‘It does seem like they’ve made some progress though.’

‘I’ll be fine Steve,’ Bucky cut Steve off. ‘No one else needs to be subjected to what’s in my head.’

Steve went quiet. He stared into his mug not wanting to press the topic any further. This had to be the strangest thing about having Bucky back. Before, Steve had always known everything about Bucky, and Bucky had always known everything about Steve. They did everything together, they never needed to tell each other anything because the other one was always there to see it happen. Now there were things about him that Steve didn’t know.

It wasn’t his fault. Bucky didn’t even know himself half of what had happened, but Steve couldn’t help hating the separation. He knew it had been stupid to think that everything would go right back to how it used to be once he found Bucky. Still, the reality of how far they had to go to get back what had been taken hit home hard.

Sammy watched her Uncles. Steve was staring into his hot chocolate like his dog had just died and Bucky was staring at Steve, clearly trying to figure out what to say to get that look off his face, yet blaming himself for putting it there.

‘Have you two every heard of T’ai Chi?’ She asked, breaking them both out of their respective glooms for a moment. Bucky just shook his head but Steve thought for a moment.

‘I’ve seen people doing it in the park when I go for my morning runs. Isn’t that a martial art?’

‘It is, but it’s not just about fighting. I started doing it after I lost my leg. It helps with control of your body - helped me get my balance back, and it was actually a great help training to use my robotic legs. The more you can focus on the movement and get your mind off a chunk of metal and wires being strapped to your body the easier it becomes to control the prosthesis like an actual leg. T’ai Chi should also help you with breathing control, calming your mind, that kind of thing. I’ll show you some basic positions.’

 She drained her drink and moved to the centre of the room, that she kept clear for that very purpose. The movements were slow, precise and completely controlled, and before long Sammy closed her eyes, half forgetting her uncle’s were even there, relaxing into the movement.

Steve and Bucky watched her move watched the peace fall over her features.

‘Mind if we join in?’ Steve asked as he finished his drink.

Sammy opened an eye. ‘Well, on your feet soldiers.’

Steve and Bucky stood obediently. ‘Ok, I’ll show you a move, you mimic it, I’ll correct you.’

The night fell away into smooth moments and steady breathing. Bucky saw what Sammy was doing of course, but the truth was it was working. His heart had been hammering since he felt the cold metal clamp onto his face in the dream. But somehow, while following Sammy’s simple movements, breathing in unison with Steve, his heart calmed and the nightmare faded from his mind. The Winter Soldier, Bucky Barnes, nothing mattered there was just movement and peace, no need to think.

An eternity or an instant later, Sammy sighed deeply and stretched. They had passed the time in near silence and the loud exhalation broke them out of their trance. Bucky’s attention slowly returned to the room and the people in it. He caught Steve’s eye and smiled, watched Steve grin back as he met his eyes, reading his mind like he always had, knowing he was content.

Bucky knew the nightmares would be back, but for now the morning sun was greying the sky and he was safe, and Steve was here. For the first time since he fell away from a train Bucky truly felt that things could be alright again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jennyarya for being my ever patient beta.


End file.
